Asmani Jamdar Surve

We are adapting new ways in different aspects of life. It is time for us to look at the way we look at the gifting trends too. Before I tell you why I am saying this, I will request you to remember any recent or last event that happened in your life be it a birthday, housewarming, marriage, newborn, baby shower or any such occasion. And while you are recalling what are those things that you are remembering; is it the venue, experience, the process, the memories created, who supported you at the event, after-event fatigue and exhaustion or above all this what gifts you received and who gave? Also, be honest did you utilise all the gifts you received or you kept them for future charity? I experienced such 3 events in the last month, where I was a giver and also a receiver. In both my experience I did not see overwhelming value in the gifts in comparison to the efforts the person would have put to get those gifts. When selecting gifts I prefer the person's liking, their interests and ...

Time is passing, and it will be judgemental to say if we are progressing or deteriorating. There are two sides to each coin and the concept of passing time too has that. What concerns me as an individual is, the quality of life and the definition of changing life values. Deep down I am a true Indian and India has been an idol for culture and life values, which somewhere on the scale is falling with time. We are paying the cost of development which is too high to realise at this time, which will be devasting when surfaced.   As Indian we take pride in our diversified culture, literature, rituals and Vedas. What are we doing to nurture and maintain it? This whole thought came to me when I was listening to some of the current top-listed Bollywood songs and to my disappointment each song had words which speak about "intoxication", "physical attraction", "addiction", "vulgar video", "cheating", "many love relationships" and some a...

Relationships should be bonding not bidding. I recently came across a statement that said that a relationship is a constant effort of commitment, communication and compromise . Which is the reality if you fail to balance all the three the relationship becomes bidding. We all go through our own ups and downs in the journey of life and as the saying goes, enjoying the journey is more important than the destination . But how many of us actually enjoy it? Take a pause and restart enjoying it. During the counselling and coaching sessions, I come across the majority of concerns that are reloving around perception and lifestyle . We have made our lifestyle so materialistic that happiness or wow moments are connected to the accumulation rather than the feelings . The measurement has become more important. We need to encumber the burden of measurement. Eg. I am doing XYZ and I deserve ABC from the other person. Is this the commitment other personed signed with you or did you communicate your ...

We as humans have evolved from orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos, and gorillas. What these species have shared is their ancestors, who were same seven million years before. When we have not evolved from the same species, how can we expect people to behave or think in the same way? Yet we often wish that other people should behave the way we want to or understand us without being expressive or reasonable. When you expect anything from the person, you are willing to conduct what you like, irrespective of whether the other likes it. Which means you want them to live those moments as per you and not as per them. This is the most significant disconnect we have in relationships.  The disconnect of expectations vs deliverables is not something that has come in existence in recent past. This connect was existing from the beginning, but it has started to be seen on the surface in recent times. The reason is non-acceptance and lack of patience. This era of fast food has made us expect everyth...

Quite often, spirituality term is aligned to be a synonym of religion or ritual. It is a need today that we understand spirituality is for our soul and not for any societal belief. Religion and tradition are the drawn rules & systems by the society or community to practice spirituality. Our ancestors knew well that metaphors work better than preachings. Hence, the following specific patterns became the way to embark on the journey of spirituality. Aspects like meditation, pranayama, yoga & sadhana are methods of attaining spirituality. Purpose of making these aspects as part of religion and rituals was to make sure these were conducted time and often.  Today, the adoption of the concept of intermittent fasting is common in even younger generations. Our ancestors followed the system of intermittent fasting at the time of conducting any religious rituals. Today we are very well aware that fasting or intermittent fasting helps us detox our bodies and eat up the cells that are ...

Sarees are one of the most talked types of costume from years. People adorn the drape, yet they feel jittery when it comes to draping it. The reason for nervousness is apparent, and that is draping a 5-yard cloth. The length and breadth of the fabric gives a feeling of tension; what if it opens up in the running around? Oh, it is too much to carry around; the pleats, the pallu and limitations one feels while walking due to the little flare. Yet when you wear it, nothing beats the elegance, class, grace and beauty it enhances. India has a long-standing tradition and a tradition every Indian takes pride. The pride reflects primarily in people who have given their lives to keep this tradition alive. One of them is the loom owners and the artists who work on the intricate weaving and making the threads into a 5-yard saree. Some families are into handlooms making sarees from multiple generations, and they with each next generation are enhancing the product. Today wearing a saree is ...

We all are undergoing a dilemma of uncertainty. The cloud of questions keeps hovering over your thoughts. Be it of on-going scenario or future. Things are surely going to change, and things are not going to be in the same pattern as they have been for the last few decades. We have evolved, developed and become more sophisticated with time and education. But we are humans at heart and mind. We still can imagine which is not available with any other living species on earth. Do you have these questions; - How will be that day when the lockdown opens, and we will get back to the physical world again? - Will it be a day just like it was on 20 March 2020 or it will be different and if different, how different? - How am I going to live that day, and how will I be reacting and acting that day? - Will I have public transport services and if I will then will I be able to accommodate which we were doing all these years comfortably? - Will, I still offer a helping hand to a stranger by the road...

In the last few months, I have seen many phases in a short while. People whom I thought I could not imagine my life without being complete, are out of the picture and people whom I have not met are all around. Our mind is a powerful tool, and we have the power within us, which can help us climb mountains if we determine. There will always be negativity and demotivators around. You have to make that conscious effort in through your subconscious mind to trade through all the blockers. We own one of the most sophisticated machines, and we underestimate and take it for granted every moment of our life.  We have made life as a race, and we want to win the race. Although in the process of winning or losing, we forget, that in this race the end is death. And after death, you cannot enjoy or regret the result. So one vital lesson I learnt is living is a powerful practice, and the power to live it right is within me. My life is my responsibility and to live it right is my mission. I am...

It is a great matter of deal lately on time spent on social media. People are busy judging others based on their social media posts as well as their frequency of updates. It is also linked to the ineffective physical, social life and regarded as a lack of friends in reality and more in the virtual world. I came across this story of a dying man in hospital with only family members outside the ICU and no virtual friends present to extend their empathy. I have also known people who prefer to stay out of this virtual social life, claiming they feel it kills their productivity or sabotage their privacy. While few others are on sting operations, they keep observing others social life and pretending to be absent. Every individual is different, and so is their behaviour, it will not be righteous to judge anyone based on your opinions. You can have your way of handling and living your life, but it is none of others business of how one should deal with their life. You can offer your word of a...

It is such an interesting fact that today we are finding the need to educate people with few basic lifestyle patterns. Trainers are getting needs to explain to people why eating & eating right is a necessity—teaching people the right way to sleep and why sleeping is a human biological need. The significance of body fitness is more than financial fitness. Family life balance is a bigger priority than your bank balance. During primitive age, people assets were their families, and then survival was of the fittest. Humans, then despite no education and ignorance towards advanced ways of life, knew the basics of human biology. They knew how to preserve the environment & surroundings to maintain the habitat. Today humans have grown in multi-fold to understand the science behind the living, yet they are becoming more and more ignorant of the right lifestyle. How practical & useful is the theoretical knowledge for the greater good of human species? Has this more information hel...

Judging a person has always been an unsaid rule since we got into dealings of any kind. Nature of transaction is irrelevant, but the judgment of the person with whom you are dealing is significant. Is it necessary? Can we overcome our instinct and be more conscious in our thoughts? Why is it required? 1) One's probable behaviour (acceptance or appreciation or rejection or criticism) 2) Our action impact (the result of our action) Acceptance and appreciation is a human most desired feeling, although many times our actions are not judged as we intend. In the same way, we want to analyse beforehand the outcome of any of our activity, as we want to create the right judgement about us. As the cliche goes "depend on others & you will go hungry." Why are you looking for a review of others? What makes you the righteous to judge anyone? Do you judge yourself? If you start that, you will term it as self-criticism, isn't it? So when you are judging yourself, you call it ...

With the increasing trends of technology taking over human tasks, we see decreased human involvement in the work process. Artificial intelligence is also working as a command centre which takes care of research and surveys to analyse data and behaviour.  Considering all the above, what are that demands for human now. What is the need for a human in a system with the fast replacement of humans in the modern working systems? We have seen a movie called I, Robot in 2004, which depicted how technology is capable of replacing humans at cliche task even.  There is one area where technology has yet not evolved to replace humans, that is humanity. The emotional quotient of human yet to be replaced by technology and will take a while, however, to replace it either. There was era two decades back when the need of Personnel Managers to be Human Resource Managers considering the emotional concerns surfacing at work. Then a decade ago, these Human Resource Managers were identified to b...

The word vacation brings a bundle of different kind of memories, some priceless, some luxurious, some emotional, some ancestral, and many varied thoughts followed by it. As a child, my vacation was more about going to maternal places to stay, playing in heat getting tanned, playing indoor games, eating mangoes, experimenting new ideas and learning through various hobby classes. The list can go extensive as earlier it uses to be two months vacation in summers, as in India summers are typically too hot to bear in any part for the locals.  Being a mother to 7-year-old this time after years, I got to enjoy the vacation again in the same old way. Playing, watching TV, going swimming in heat, visiting friends and family, hosting friends and family, reading books, travelling, exploring new experiments to create some achievement memories and some disastrous to laugh over. As a working parent all these years, I realised what I have missed in the last six years.  It is small things yo...

Continuously, the major challenge faced by every organisation is the quality of leading that the leaders are doing. The scenario is changing dynamically at different levels, and today the leader will have to be very high on emotional intelligence. An exemplary example we have today is Prime Minister of India - Mr Narendra Modi. His leadership style has swept all the other so-called political leaders in a big way this election. What is that he did different to get such record-breaking win in 2019 election, where he broke his party own records of 2014. He when elected in 2014, his agenda was loud and clear, which was again and again hammered on citizens thoughts. To begin with his ideology in the same priority: 1) Emotional Intelligence: Mr Modi was apparent that he has to connect with people. As the population of the country has the power to change the scenario, all he needs to do is make them taste their power. He was successful in making this realisation through demonetisation. Th...

There are various types of people you come across, and each person has unique traits combinations of their-self. People might be like-minded, but they are not the same minded. The pattern in which each person looks at the same aspect gives a variety of dimensions to that particular aspect. Broadly we can categorise people in fives type. The combinations are going to be unique to make that person an individual. But, the category can outline the thought process.  Type 1 - Learner: These set of people believe firmly in learning, they are not sure where they will apply all this learning, but they're so driven by the idea of learning that they keep learning in any given situation. These set of personalities are also very optimistic as they do not see any threat as they enjoy the exploration process, hence are very straight forward in their dealings. Type 2 - Executor: These personalities are meticulous in their work. They believe in the perfection of work, their thoughts are generally...

With the competitive atmosphere in every sphere of life, what we miss to do is connect with people at the thought level. Human behaviour is a reflection of their thoughts. Hence, getting to know their thoughts is significant in any given situation; which gives an edge to see the purpose of the behaviour.  To know the thoughts asking the right questions is of prime importance. In situations where you want to see the person's clarity of aspect, you should ask questions like: - How much time do you wish to invest? - What output are you expecting? - Do you have any benchmark to the output? - Have you analysed challenges to the process? - What tools & resources you are looking to utilise? Have you made arrangements for it? If the process is relating to you directly as a manager, you should ask: - What kind of supervision you expect? - Do you understand the significance of the contribution to the project When you want to understand the thought behind an already executed project, yo...

Professionals in today time are difficult to find. The resource market with changing dynamics have turned to be so that, seeing everything in a resource is becoming a low chance. In this scenario, what takes priority attitude or approach - a philosophy that defines your willingness, demands of the job role or strategy to get the results.  What is that can be compromised? In case if the attitude is not optimistic, the resource will not give you the output that is required, as than willing to work is not available. If the approach of taking a decision is not in line with management expectations, then the decisions made will not give the output required. What can output management decide to compromise? How to decide what is more significant - the willingness to work or rightfulness of work. Is any of the one in discussion a factor to be compromised? Both have a direct impact on the output. In that case, what aspect can be chosen from both or both are must, and you can let go of the...

Indian society has been through so many hues. The palate, in the beginning, had only greys which with time have seen the complete range of the rainbow. The diversity of the country brings a variety of cultures and beliefs, along with the democratic nature of the constitution.  With globalisation and at par operations, the exposure to the outside world is unlimited. With this exposure, the filters are not applied due to flexibility and adaptability. A classic example of bad parenting as I may say. Parent teaching children to explore and not teaching them to grasp only what is right. Now here for a country who is the parent? It is our culture, heritage, beliefs and traditions. Unfortunately, all these are considered as orthodox thoughts now. And being orthodox is being out of fashion.  Today, one of the burning issues of Indian society is divorce or adultery. Let's go to the first step of marriage. As per the decade-old survey, 95% of marriages in India were arranged against t...

To win over your enemy, you need first to understand them. Why is anger your enemy? Ancient archives mention that anger is not suitable for health. When you are angry, your body releases a chemical which adversely affects your health; hence it is your enemy. Anger is a letter short to Danger... So what is anger? It is a reaction you give when you have an unpleasant experience. So it is a reaction that you give in any given situation. Who owns the response? It is the person who is reacting to the problem. Hence, the onus of the reaction is of the person who is giving it. Owner is responsible for his/her belongings. Which means react at owner risk.  The first step is to control the reaction. You are the owner of your reaction, so you are only the only one who can manage it. To manage your reaction you need to be in self-control. You have to understand that any situation or experience that is making you angry is it worth the effects you are doing to your body, what is more, cri...