What are you Gifting?

We are adapting new ways in different aspects of life. It is time for us to look at the way we look at the gifting trends too. Before I tell you why I am saying this, I will request you to remember any recent or last event that happened in your life be it a birthday, housewarming, marriage, newborn, baby shower or any such occasion. And while you are recalling what are those things that you are remembering; is it the venue, experience, the process, the memories created, who supported you at the event, after-event fatigue and exhaustion or above all this what gifts you received and who gave? Also, be honest did you utilise all the gifts you received or you kept them for future charity?

I experienced such 3 events in the last month, where I was a giver and also a receiver. In both my experience I did not see overwhelming value in the gifts in comparison to the efforts the person would have put to get those gifts. When selecting gifts I prefer the person's liking, their interests and their approach towards life, considering the fact that, whatever I offer should be suitable to the persons liking and they will experience joy by feeling, they received what they wished or liked.

It's been some time since I have been introspecting when I go to buy gifts, I start analysing, whether this will be a duplicate or this requires personal choice. In the process, I get end up giving vouchers, cash, silver, gold or something that will facilitate the person to take their own gift. We have to understand one fact now, in whichever levels we are dealing the respective people have the capacity to buy whatever we are gifting. There are exceptions where the financial levels are too different or gifts are to the underprivileged. But when we are in a social circle in major cases we are invited to similar-level acquaintances with a thin line of difference in terms of capabilities. Then what makes our materialistic gifts interesting to receive and reciprocate?

 
There is also a long-lasting negative effect we leave. Many times when gifts are unpacked kids are the most excited ones and they get to hear about our remarks on gifts which we may give casually or offhand. While, when we are reciprocating to the giver in future we may not be that straight and prefer to be cordial, teaching our kids to make fake appreciations. A big alert on parenting guidelines, you are teaching your kids to lie in the process. As kids learn what they see and they have their own perceptions to be interpreted out of your behaviour.

The other aspect to this is also that if we all are capable and we are giving gifts of similar budgets there is no harm. But, I have a question will you like to buy things of the same kind as your choice and wish or by others' choice? This is a question which may have different answers for different people, but in the majority of cases, people prefer their own choices over other choices.

Again the irony is, there was a trend a little while ago wherein people use to write in the invitation; 'NO GIFTS, ONLY BLESSINGS.' But, they will accept gifts when got by guests making the guest embarrassed who went by the words and didn't get gifts. Sometime later, that line became to be a reminder to guests that they have to bring gifts and not forget.

To add a twist there is also an expectation of a return gift. The family who is conducting the event prefers to have the same kinds of budget gifts for all, to ensure no disappointments or comparisons and play safe. Yet there is no assurance of the goal achievement. As the person giving a gift of 1000 or 10000 end up getting the same gift and the lack of parity in return gift still disappoints. Funnily we have one family member in the house, who will go comparing the return gifts and polluting each one's mind of what they are given and what others are. So in spite of efforts by the organising family to return gifts be it at a birthday or marriage, the receivers rarely express gratitude, and they end up with no gratitude.

Now so far I have been discussing the problem. But discussing the problem is not going to help, I was offering perspectives some are mine and some are observed, to build a case for why we should change the gifting trends. We all will have our own creativity to apply when we want to change the trend. I am here to recommend a few;

- Offer your helping hand to organise the event.
- Take charge of some tasks at the event, so the organiser can enjoy the event when the responsibility is shared.
- Offer a relaxing experience post the event for the organiser to rejuvenate (spa, a gateway for weekend etc.).
- Invite the family for dinner or lunch and take time with them for a movie or drive or apply your creativity.
- Or at least discuss with the family what they want, so that you can offer the gift which will bring genuine happiness.
- Or take them with you to shop and sponsor their shopping at the billing counter.

These are off-hand ideas, I am confident we all have our ways to find ways to create value and memories with people around us. Next time when you have to offer a gift think of experience, time, and choice instead of materialist value to flaunt your abilities.